My New Favorite Word... Milquetoast!

What the heck does it mean? My awesome English teacher, Ms. Reaser, says that 'milquetoast' means bland or uninteresting. It is pronounced like milk-toast. It sounds nasty. Anyways, this is a less interesting post, but it seemed relevant at the time.

In unrelated news, I will be running the website for the Charlottesville/Albemarle robotics team in the upcoming season. Wish us luck!

If Operating Systems Ran the Airlines

I found this on Urban Dictionary, and I, being the geek that I am, thought it was the funniest thing on Earth. Props to whoever came up with this. (I agree with every word.)

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.


Windows Vista Air
You arrive at the terminal to find an ornate and very colorful building. As soon as you set foot in the door, you are lost in a labyrinth and can't find anything that you need. Three weeks later, you finally emerge from the maze to find rows of brightly-colored planes. You step into one of the planes, and observe what you would imagine a flying limo would look like. The stewardess is very pretty and the chair seems soft and inviting. The stewardess makes sure that you feel very comfortable and then leaves. After an hour of waiting on the tarmac, the stewardess comes back and informs you that the plane is experiencing technical difficulties. You ask what is wrong, but after a while of thinking, the stewardess just replies, "I don't know," and notifies you that you must get off the plane.


Windows 7 Air
Things are slightly less shiny than at Windows 7 Air, but much easier to find. Windows XP Air still runs slightly smoother, but you decide that you can deal with Windows 7 Air. You get on the plane, which is fancy, but not too fancy, and buckle in. It takes a while to get used to it, but there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. That is, until the plane crashes on to a volcanic island full of hungry cannibals from your nightmares.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

:D Guess what.

I'm SO happy! I heard over the radio today that texting while driving is now a primary offense in the commonwealth of Virginia. It used to be a secondary offense, meaning that if you were pulled over for something else, it could be added to your penalties. But now, it's PRIMARY!!! That means that cops can pull you over and give you a ticket if they catch you texting while you drive. Most people who have met me know that I can't stand cell phone stupidity. (As demonstrated in an earlier post.) You guys probably don't care as much as I do, especially if you don't live in Virginia, but I just had to release some of my happiness before I exploded.

The Always-Changing World

So, I've been distracted from the site for a while what with school and all. It just amazes me how humans spend their whole lives rushing around with a sense of urgency until it all just comes to an abrupt end.

Electronics, for example. Everybody needs their smart phone or whatever to be as fast as physically possible, even though they can already accomplish everything they could ever need to in a matter of seconds.

Person 1: Dude, did you hear about the new iPhone 4s? It's so sweet! I've heard that it goes up to 7 times faster than the old one!

Person 2: 7 TIMES FASTER?!? I've SO got to spend my parents' money on that! It's not like I already have the ability to make calls, take pictures, play games, write reminders, get maps, do online banking, go on the internet, text my friends, check my Facebook, update my status, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah...

It really does get kind of annoying when people walk across the highway texting. What happened to common sense? Also, people texting while they drive. What's up with that? It's not bad enough to be talking on the phone while you drive, but now you also have to take your eyes off the road to see what your friend Suzie said.

Person 1: Oh! I just got a text! Here, let me see what it says while I'm driving a 2-ton death machine through a residential section.

Person 2: Hey! Come back here! You just ran over my 3-year-old child!

Person 3: Get that car out of my house!

Person 4: MY FOOT! AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!

Person 1: Haha, like, totally.

The worst place for these behaviors, as I have noticed, is college. Now, I'm not sure quite what this says about the effectiveness of these learning facilities, but whatever it is, it isn't too good.

My parents always talk about how things were when they were growing up. (As all parents do.) They always say stuff like, "When I was young, we spent time outside instead of staring at a screen all day," and "When I was young, I had to entertain myself instead of having my entertainment spoon-fed to me by some computer." (You have to imagine an old geezer voice for it to be effective. My parents don't have old geezer voices yet, but it still enhances the experience.) Anyways, them saying stuff like that kind of makes me wonder whether the world was better before the era of technology. It was a lot simpler, I'll say that much. What do you think? Which world would you rather live in? A simple but sometimes inconvenient world or a dangerous but more advanced world? Fill out the poll to let me know!