Funny music shirt

Hello World of earbud snorkling flamethrowing computer using rabid tree chopping homo sapiens!
I come from the same planet you do. (well, I think I do...)

I am not one to like sharing links to online shopping places without getting paid a little. And so usually I don't or I sign up for an affiliate program. But in this case, the shirt was just so awesome. It's the perfect combination of computer geeky and music geeky that it was key to my laughter tonight (that awful pun was not....).



I know probably half of you won't find it all funny and you'll flood the comments with hatred and bitter syrup and crazy Martian bath oils. I value your opinion (and especially Martian bath oils so fire away. Just bear in mind I have the power to terminate things.

Video of the Month: August 2012

I"m aware that this is a little early, but I just HAVE to share it. This aired July 25, and I am now the new face of the movement! (Not really, but thinking that makes me feel special.) The entire article can be viewed here.

Video of the Month: July 2012

Video of the Month: June 2012

Okay, finally, here it is. I've had this video in mind all month and I am FINALLY getting around to putting it on the blog. (Hooray for procrastination!) Here's a prologue for the video: On Newgrounds, a game website, somebody made a game. It was mocking RPGs, because all you can do is press the spacebar and it takes you through the whole game. Most people went along with the joke, and in the review section, they were giving it really good reviews, saying that it was the best game they had ever played. One person, however, didn't get the joke. He left a review publicly bashing the game. (He didn't even use correct grammar and spelling.) Someone else came along and did a voice over for the review, and then someone else made an animation for it. This is the result:

Also, I did in fact take pictures on the way back from Arkansas. If three people leave comments, I will share the pictures with you. (Yes, that's right. I'm bribing you.)

I'm back in Virginia!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I just got back tonight, and I'm dead tired. My grandpa is still sick, but he was really glad to see us. I'll tell you more about my adventures later on, maybe with a picture or two. (I can't remember if I took any pics on the way back.)

Life Quote

I just want to share this quote in a picture because it pretty much sums up my views on life.

I'm in Arkansas!

That's right! Over the weekend, I packed up my things and moved to Arkansas. Actually, I didn't move permanently, but I'll be here for the next couple of weeks. My grandfather is sick in the hospital, so my family pretty much dropped everything and went as soon as we could. Our cars aren't that reliable, so we rented this:

It's a Dodge Grand Caravan. It's a pretty nice car. I swear, it has everything. You can even open and close the trunk using your key. (Which, actually, doesn't even look like a key. It has no teeth!)

And, of course, we couldn't just leave our two cats at home while we went on vacation for a couple of weeks, so we had to take them with us. I don't know how many of you have owned cats, but traveling with them is just not a good idea. We realized this before we left and therefore had to come up with a solution for spastic behavior. We thought for a while, and then it came to us. How do you make a crazy person shut up and be happy? Drugs. We got this pheromone stuff that is supposed to make cats calm. That's all fine and dandy, but we knew that we'd need something a little stronger. We went to the vet and got some heavy-duty knockout drugs for the cats in case of emergency. (And by emergency, I mean the cats meowing until our ears hurt.) We left Charlottesville at about 10:00 in the morning on Sunday. By the time we got to Waynesboro, everyone in my family agreed that we needed to use the drugs. We gave each of the cats half a pill, and before long, they looked like this:

We put them back in their cat carrier and didn't hear another sound from them all day. We stopped just outside of Nashville, Tennessee for the night, found a hotel that took pets and gave out free cookies, and fell instantly asleep. (The cookie was good.)

Of course, the cats sleeping all day meant that they were awake and energetic all night. The rest of my family got woken up multiple times by the cats, and barely got any sleep. I, however, wasn't even disturbed once. I don't know how that happened, but I wasn't complaining. The next morning, we gave them another dose of the drugs and set on our way. It's been a while since I've been on a car trip, and I forgot just how boring the actual trip is. It's just hours and hours and hours of this:

We finally got to Siloam Springs, Arkansas in the late afternoon on Monday. One of my grandmothers lives here, and we're staying with her. She's incredibly nice. When we got here, she already had a batch of her world-famous fudge waiting for us.I had some and it was delicious. (Much better than the cookie.) I would bring some back to share with everyone, but I would eat it on the way.

Unfortunately, I started feeling a little sick to my stomach later that night. I thought that getting some rest would help, so I went off to bed. I woke up at about midnight, went to the restroom, and barfed my guts out. (Not literally, but I wanted to give you a nice mental picture.) After my violent episode of vomiting, I felt much better, which makes me think that it was something I ate. (Apparently, my body isn't built to run on sausage, quesadillas smothered in hot sauce, mountain dew, chicken sandwiches, and Frostys.) I got a glass of water, and went back to bed.

This morning, even though I felt fine, I decided it would be best for me to not see my grandfather today. His immune system is trashed and I wouldn't want to risk exposing him to any extra germs.

I miss you all, and I hope to be back in Charlottesville soon!

What should I post about???

I'm seriously running out of ideas for creative posts, guys. So instead of posting something witty/funny/complete crap, I'll post about my friend Allison. (And Quinn, because she just asked me to.) We're all sitting together in history class right now, not doing much of anything. We took a practice test, but we finished earlier than the rest of the class. I've known Allison since 4th grade, or so I've been told. I've known Quinn since kindergarten. (Kindergarten sounds German, doesn't it? Allison just informed me that it is in fact German. It means 'child's garden.') Okay, well school is over, so I had better stop talking about my nice friends.

Pascal's Triangle

Recently in my math class we were taught about a thing called Pascal's triangle. I am not sure if this is my synesthesia kicking in (post on that coming soon!) or if its something else but I find Pascal's triangle to be one of the most amazing things, like ever...

I am writing this post to raise awareness to Pascal's triangle since many people I have talked to have no idea what it is. According to Wikipedia, "Pascal's triangle is a triangular array of the binomial coefficients in a triangle." This here is Pascal's Triangle (and it goes on forever.)

See a pattern?

One of the cool things about our friend's triangle is that it is simple to write. All you do is start with 1 at the very top and then go down and put 2 1s. The rows are created by adding the two numbers above it. Say you want to create row 3 (#1 is the zero row so we are talking about row 1 3 3 1) then you just look at row two and see, "Oh, 1+0=1 (the first digit), 1+2=3 (the second digit)..."

Don't think its neat yet?

Well! Prepare for blastoff Elwood, because I am about to make you think this is so neat that...I dunno... but its neat.

So say, your teacher gives you the problem, (a + b)^4

You would find the 4th row in the triangle, (1 4 6 4 1)

Then you would write

1 4 6 4 1

Then put in 1a 4ab 6ab 4ab 1b

and add the exponents starting at 4 for a on the left and 4 for b on the right

and you would get:

a^4 + 4a^3b + 6a^2b^2 + 4ab^3 + b^4

I just think this is really neat and my apologies for bursting into geek mode...

Video of the Month: May 2012

Sorry, but I don't have anything witty to say. It's the end of the school day on Friday, and I just want to sleep. Anyways, here's the video of the month.

Happy May, everybody!

Welcome, 0ld_Sp1ce!

Please give a warm welcome to our new author, 0ld_Sp1ce! We happen to know each other in real life, and since the blog's quality is crashing and burning, I came to him for help.

Elwood: Hey, 0ld_Sp1ce.

0ld_Sp1ce: Hey.

Elwood: My blog sucks.

0ld_Sp1ce: I can help if you want.

Elwood: Okay.

Yeah, that's pretty much the way it happened.

UPDATE
 I have also changed the look of the blog to welcome 0ld_Sp1ce. I particularly like the way that it looks now, so I'm considering making this the norm. If you want your opinion heard, weigh in using the comments section. (Not that anybody actually will. Seriously, guys. Are you afraid of the comments? I feel like I'm talking to a wall here.)

Comments, anyone?

It seems that even though I talk a lot, you people talk very little. I'll bet that you didn't even know that you can comment on any of my posts, did you? Yep, it's true! Look down at the bottom of this post. Just below all my ranting, It says, 'Posted by Morate at 11:38 AM     # comments.' If you click on '# comments', you can see what people have to say, and even say something yourself! If you seem to always have funny or insightful comments, I may even invite you to become an author of Herp of Derps... O.o

I have fancified. You're welcome.

As you have undoubtedly noticed, (unless you are incredibly unobservant,) my blog looks a little different. Here are the new features:

• New background
• New fonts
• New link colors
• New sidebar titles
• New favicon (You may have to clear your cache to see this.)
• New tabs feature

The background has a bit of a double meaning. The obvious one: it is the texture of a Nether portal from Minecraft. But wait! There's more! Today, April 20th, was the Day of Silence. I could describe it, but somebody else already did a much better job. Here's what they said (or didn't say):

Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence (DOS), a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by anti-LGBT bullying, name-calling and harassment. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment to address these injustices. Think about the voices you ARE NOT hearing today.

That's deep, man. Anyways, I'm not sure if it's just local or what, but in these parts, purple is the representative color for this movement. Therefore, not only did I participate in the Day of Silence and wear purple today, but I am dressing the blog up in purple too. Herp of Derps will remain purple for a few days to show my support. If you want a little more information on the Day of Silence, go here. Have a great weekend!

Happy Demon has taken over this blog.

What is this demon so enthused about? In fact, his name is Happy Demon, and he is on a mission to take over the media. This blog is just the first step in world domination, but Happy Demon expects to expand his territory soon.

My New Favorite Word... Milquetoast!

What the heck does it mean? My awesome English teacher, Ms. Reaser, says that 'milquetoast' means bland or uninteresting. It is pronounced like milk-toast. It sounds nasty. Anyways, this is a less interesting post, but it seemed relevant at the time.

In unrelated news, I will be running the website for the Charlottesville/Albemarle robotics team in the upcoming season. Wish us luck!

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

This morning, my sister and I were looking around for a funny picture to put on an Easter card. Even though it didn't fit our needs, we thought we should share this picture with you:

The previous picture undoubtedly offended some hardcore Christian person. Sorry. Get over it. What we did end up using was this:

So anyways, that's all for today. Best wishes and happy zombie Jesus day, everyone!

Video of the Month: April 2012

First off, let me apologize for being absent for a while. I've been mainly caught up in my schoolwork. Second, let me express how happy I am that it's now spring break by using a smiley: XD. Finally, I would like to present to you the video of the month! It's a little different this month because, instead of finding something clever on Youtube, I have a live feed of two little eaglets in a nest. These eaglets are in Richmond. Enjoy!

Video of the Month: March 2012

Okay. I am having an idea of the good kind. Starting now, I'm going to post a video of the month. The video will be something that I found funny, amazing, addicting, etc. So, here it is. The Video of the Month...

What is six times nine?

Easy. 42, of course. What am I going on about now? Well, those of you who have read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will understand this reference. those of you who haven't read it, well, just hang in there. I learnt recently that in the base 13 number system, also known as triskadecimal, six times nine does equal 42. How awesome is that? When Douglas Adams was notified of this, he said, "I may be a sorry case, but I don't make jokes in base 13." For a smidge more information on base 13, click here. Also, I just wanted to say congratulations to Kirby for getting his first girlfriend in a long time. Bryan, Pierce, pull yourselves together. You're falling behind the curve. Also, I would like to reflect those last few statements at myself. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while.

Graham: I'M GETTING A LITTLE ANNOYED WITH YOU, UNIVERSE!

Universe:

teh3l3m3nts is BOSS!

For those of you who play Minecraft...

teh3l3m3nts is an awesome server that actually tries to stay organized and orderly. We make an effort to keep griefers off of the server, and we play by the rules (most of the time). I've been to lots o' servers, but teh3l3m3nts is by far the best. The people are nice, the server rules are fair, and there are some pretty sweet buildings. Everyone is welcome, and we'd be glad to have you. The server address is:

mc.teh3l3m3nts.com

I hope to see you there! My username is Morate, so if you see me online, say hi!

If Operating Systems Ran the Airlines

I found this on Urban Dictionary, and I, being the geek that I am, thought it was the funniest thing on Earth. Props to whoever came up with this. (I agree with every word.)

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.


Windows Vista Air
You arrive at the terminal to find an ornate and very colorful building. As soon as you set foot in the door, you are lost in a labyrinth and can't find anything that you need. Three weeks later, you finally emerge from the maze to find rows of brightly-colored planes. You step into one of the planes, and observe what you would imagine a flying limo would look like. The stewardess is very pretty and the chair seems soft and inviting. The stewardess makes sure that you feel very comfortable and then leaves. After an hour of waiting on the tarmac, the stewardess comes back and informs you that the plane is experiencing technical difficulties. You ask what is wrong, but after a while of thinking, the stewardess just replies, "I don't know," and notifies you that you must get off the plane.


Windows 7 Air
Things are slightly less shiny than at Windows 7 Air, but much easier to find. Windows XP Air still runs slightly smoother, but you decide that you can deal with Windows 7 Air. You get on the plane, which is fancy, but not too fancy, and buckle in. It takes a while to get used to it, but there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. That is, until the plane crashes on to a volcanic island full of hungry cannibals from your nightmares.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Cutest Pandas EVER.

Okay, this is just too cute. You may have seen this video before, but it's worth seeing again. Watch it.

:D Guess what.

I'm SO happy! I heard over the radio today that texting while driving is now a primary offense in the commonwealth of Virginia. It used to be a secondary offense, meaning that if you were pulled over for something else, it could be added to your penalties. But now, it's PRIMARY!!! That means that cops can pull you over and give you a ticket if they catch you texting while you drive. Most people who have met me know that I can't stand cell phone stupidity. (As demonstrated in an earlier post.) You guys probably don't care as much as I do, especially if you don't live in Virginia, but I just had to release some of my happiness before I exploded.

Cow Helmet or Horse Hat?

My friend, Cassidy,  and I were having a 'discussion' on what this is. I say that it's a cow helmet, but she says that it's a horse hat. (Cassidy is the one wearing the hat.) So it's up to you guys: Which is it? Tell us what you think in the poll.

FYI, the person giving the peace sign in the background is Isis. Pay no attention to her.

Low-riding! XD

Just today, I had a friend enlighten me as to the origin of low-riding. Apparently, it came from American prisons. Inmates who wished to have anal sex with other inmates would pull their pants partly down. This was an attempt to find partners without the prison guards being alerted. In short, low-riding means you want to get butt-raped.

Person 1: Hey man, look. I'm low-riding. I'm cool now, right?

Person 2: XD

Person 1: Wait what are you doing?

Person 2: XD

Person 1: Pull your pants back up. You're making me uncomfortable.

Person 2: XD

Person 1: Wait. NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Person 2: XD

In short, low-ride at your own risk.

**CENSORED**

**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**S.O.P.A.**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**P.I.P.A.**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**

-**CENSORED**

The Always-Changing World

So, I've been distracted from the site for a while what with school and all. It just amazes me how humans spend their whole lives rushing around with a sense of urgency until it all just comes to an abrupt end.

Electronics, for example. Everybody needs their smart phone or whatever to be as fast as physically possible, even though they can already accomplish everything they could ever need to in a matter of seconds.

Person 1: Dude, did you hear about the new iPhone 4s? It's so sweet! I've heard that it goes up to 7 times faster than the old one!

Person 2: 7 TIMES FASTER?!? I've SO got to spend my parents' money on that! It's not like I already have the ability to make calls, take pictures, play games, write reminders, get maps, do online banking, go on the internet, text my friends, check my Facebook, update my status, blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah...

It really does get kind of annoying when people walk across the highway texting. What happened to common sense? Also, people texting while they drive. What's up with that? It's not bad enough to be talking on the phone while you drive, but now you also have to take your eyes off the road to see what your friend Suzie said.

Person 1: Oh! I just got a text! Here, let me see what it says while I'm driving a 2-ton death machine through a residential section.

Person 2: Hey! Come back here! You just ran over my 3-year-old child!

Person 3: Get that car out of my house!

Person 4: MY FOOT! AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!

Person 1: Haha, like, totally.

The worst place for these behaviors, as I have noticed, is college. Now, I'm not sure quite what this says about the effectiveness of these learning facilities, but whatever it is, it isn't too good.

My parents always talk about how things were when they were growing up. (As all parents do.) They always say stuff like, "When I was young, we spent time outside instead of staring at a screen all day," and "When I was young, I had to entertain myself instead of having my entertainment spoon-fed to me by some computer." (You have to imagine an old geezer voice for it to be effective. My parents don't have old geezer voices yet, but it still enhances the experience.) Anyways, them saying stuff like that kind of makes me wonder whether the world was better before the era of technology. It was a lot simpler, I'll say that much. What do you think? Which world would you rather live in? A simple but sometimes inconvenient world or a dangerous but more advanced world? Fill out the poll to let me know!