I found this on Urban Dictionary, and I, being the geek that I am, thought it was the funniest thing on Earth. Props to whoever came up with this. (I agree with every word.)
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
Windows Vista Air
You arrive at the terminal to find an ornate and very colorful building. As soon as you set foot in the door, you are lost in a labyrinth and can't find anything that you need. Three weeks later, you finally emerge from the maze to find rows of brightly-colored planes. You step into one of the planes, and observe what you would imagine a flying limo would look like. The stewardess is very pretty and the chair seems soft and inviting. The stewardess makes sure that you feel very comfortable and then leaves. After an hour of waiting on the tarmac, the stewardess comes back and informs you that the plane is experiencing technical difficulties. You ask what is wrong, but after a while of thinking, the stewardess just replies, "I don't know," and notifies you that you must get off the plane.
Windows 7 Air
Things are slightly less shiny than at Windows 7 Air, but much easier to find. Windows XP Air still runs slightly smoother, but you decide that you can deal with Windows 7 Air. You get on the plane, which is fancy, but not too fancy, and buckle in. It takes a while to get used to it, but there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. That is, until the plane crashes on to a volcanic island full of hungry cannibals from your nightmares.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
Windows Vista Air
You arrive at the terminal to find an ornate and very colorful building. As soon as you set foot in the door, you are lost in a labyrinth and can't find anything that you need. Three weeks later, you finally emerge from the maze to find rows of brightly-colored planes. You step into one of the planes, and observe what you would imagine a flying limo would look like. The stewardess is very pretty and the chair seems soft and inviting. The stewardess makes sure that you feel very comfortable and then leaves. After an hour of waiting on the tarmac, the stewardess comes back and informs you that the plane is experiencing technical difficulties. You ask what is wrong, but after a while of thinking, the stewardess just replies, "I don't know," and notifies you that you must get off the plane.
Windows 7 Air
Things are slightly less shiny than at Windows 7 Air, but much easier to find. Windows XP Air still runs slightly smoother, but you decide that you can deal with Windows 7 Air. You get on the plane, which is fancy, but not too fancy, and buckle in. It takes a while to get used to it, but there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. That is, until the plane crashes on to a volcanic island full of hungry cannibals from your nightmares.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
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